


it happened

by EmmaLuLuChu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cutting, Gen, Intrusive Thoughts, Projecting onto characters, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaLuLuChu/pseuds/EmmaLuLuChu
Summary: potentially triggering content





	it happened

It was a tiny scratch. Almost exactly like a cat’s, like the ones his own used to give him back at home when he rubbed their bellies for too long.

_ You just chickened out. It took you long enough to actually put something to your wrist. _

Hunk had thrown the plastic he’d used (it was the sharpest thing he allowed in his room after the thoughts first began to follow him) somewhere under the bed, he’d slapped his face with some cold water to make the red eyes go away, blew his nose to get rid of the snot that had gathered from the crying, and he could pretend that it’d never happened.

But it had happened.

He left his room despite how much he just wanted to curl up and sleep and forget, had somehow decided a walk would work better, because something kept digging at him.

It had happened. . . but what about the others?

Would they care? Would they worry and cry for him? Try to convince him to open up and finally be there for him when he’d been there for them so many times? It was no doubt that Hunk gave and gave and gave and every once in awhile it felt like he never got anything back.

So when he entered the room and Pidge pointed out that he wasn’t wearing the usual gloves he wore, Hunk let it happen.

“I tried to cut myself. It didn't work but I still tried.”

He wanted to leave right then and there. Turn around and leave because it was just an answer, or more like a statement, none of them would-

“Are you being serious?”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were feeling like this? We could’ve helped you!”

Hunk blinked at the looks Pidge and Keith were sending him. Did they actually say that? Did those words come from their mouth in response to his?

Lance was suddenly in front of him, a knowing look on his face as he looked up at him, and  _ fuck  _ Hunk had forgotten their late night talks from the Garrison and here in space, that Lance had let him see his own marks that ran all over his own arms,  _ how the fuck had he forgotten?! _

“Hunk. If there’s nobody else you want to talk to about this you can always talk to me. I’ll always listen for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed help most.”

_ Look what you’ve done, now they know you’re not okay. Now you’ve worried them and made them feel bad you’ve fucked up- _

“No no no I shouldn’t have said anything please forget it happened-it was stupid and-and meaningless I shouldn’t have done it- _ fuck  _ I’m sorry I’m so sorry-”

He couldn’t face them anymore, couldn’t handle how  _ wrong  _ Hunk had been about them (of course they cared what the hell was he thinking?) and he felt his throat hurting to keep down the sobs that wanted to come out and the tears blurring his vision and god fucking dammit he's the leg, he’s supposed to be the support and not the one getting supported why did he ever say anything why  _ why  _ **_why_ ** -

“Hunk, I need you to take deep breaths, you’ve got to calm down.”

That was the voice Shiro used when the stress was too much, he used it when Keith got too angry and worked up and when Lance needed someone to stay with him and he went to Shiro and when Pidge was literally about to jump ship and go off to find her family, it was a tone that should never be used towards Hunk.

_ Because you don’t deserve it you don’t deserve sympathy or care. _

“I-I know but-but not with you guys I’m sorry I can’t I have to go I’m sorry.”

Hunk turned to leave, turned to run away because it happened and he couldn’t handle the ripples that occurred just like  _ he  _ **_knew_ ** he wouldn’t be able to, and had reached the door when Shiro called out again, Hunk flinching at the stern tone.

“ _ Hunk!  _ You shouldn’t be alone right now, you’re clearly in distress and-”

Something made him stop, and before Hunk could use the opportunity to run, a softer voice spoke out to him, and he felt the tears fall when Lance’s voice reached him,

“It’s okay Hunk. We’re always here if you ever want to talk about it.”

It wasn’t fair, here Hunk was about to have a second breakdown all because of a scratch that was a self-inflicted failed cut and yet Lance was there, the evidence on his own wrist of his own damaged self and he somehow found worth in Hunk to try and help. It wasn’t fair.

_ Of course it isn’t fair. It never will be. _

Hunk ran away. Back to his room that he didn’t want to ever leave again even though that piece of plastic was still under the bed and he’d still drag his nails over the scratch and try to make it bigger, try to see if he could make it worse because his wrists still felt not right and like they needed that feeling of a sharp point gliding across it that the plastic hadn’t provided, would claw at that pulse like he’d done before to try and feed that want-no that  _ need _ -without letting anyone know and it had happened it really had.

Hunk had let it happen.

It was  probably going to happen again.


End file.
